Get yourself ready earlier

When my youngest son (in year three) was going to move from afternoon session to morning session, the first thing he asked from me was a new alarm clock.

Before going to bed, he set his alarm clock to wake up just twenty minutes before the school bus arriving to pick him up. From my past experience it was a bit too rush. I urged him to wake up at least another ten minutes earlier so that he could get ready on time. He was reluctant and assured me that time allocated was more than sufficient .

He got his school bag, uniform, socks, handkerchief and shoes ready before he went to bed. In the morning, he just took five minutes to prepare himself before sitting down at the dining table to take his breakfast. Hardly ten minutes for breakfast, there he was sitting outside at the porch waiting for the school bus. The total time taken was really less than twenty minutes. He did not spend time looking for his uniform, sock ... in the morning; he did not have to rush for anything. Getting everything ready earlier was the whole idea behind this kid's well-controlled situation.

The trouble with most of us is we always choose to do things in the last minutes. Even if we are given more than enough time to complete a task, we would not utilise the time given wisely. We would delay and delay until we could not delay anymore and simply rush through the whole thing haphazardly in the last minute.

You rarely hear people say," I finished my task two weeks before deadline." or "I did it in ten days though I was given two weeks to complete." 

Instead we hear, " Don't worry, I still have two more days, I will think about it tomorrow."

Irrespective of the time frame, we either expand our work to take up the total time or choose to rush in the last minutes.

We "plan" such that we can enjoy first and leave whatever outstanding until the final moment.

We forget the fact that when everything is done during the last minutes whereby we could only put in minimum effort, definitely we can't produce good results at all.

Why not "Getting ready earlier" ? It is neither an additional task to whatever we are doing, nor a "burden" with extra procedure.

Just try and see, you will not be disappointed. You can't imagine how relieve you would be the minute your  job is done. The burden is off your shoulder immediately. To think of it,  isn't it silly to be "unready" and "extend the time of carrying the load" stressfully till the last minute?

So from now on "get ready earlier". You would know how true it is when you can sit back to relax!

Make sure plans are "measurable"

Towards the year end, we always look forward to a new calendar year. We can't wait to close the old chapters together with all the unsettled issues. We want to start afresh. ( A kind of escapism!)

A new long list, nicely written with all the new year resolutions, is again pinned in front of the study desk. We promise ourselves to do better this time. We assure ourselves the last chapter would contain no more unsettled issues this year end.

But more often than not, this list would be taken down/or simply forgotten before we even reach middle of the year. Again and again, no matter how we have promised ourselves, the new year resolutions never seem to work, right? But why?

If we examine carefully, the problem lies not with the resolutions we've made. The agenda is perfectly fine. The problem is we have a to-do list which is too general. Take for example: "to improve my English" without specific plans and time frame stated. There's no way to check if we are doing it. We can conveniently push it from one day to another when we are busy/lazy and we end up not doing it at all.

We fail because of the absence of "checking mechanism" to "monitor" and "measure" our progress.

That's why it's important to be very specific in making new year resolutions. It's better to put down "to read an article a day" and " to write an essay a week" instead of " to improve my English". The progress is made "measurable" now and you are forced to be more discipline with no excuses.

Whatever we intend to do, there is always a way to "measure the effort". A plan like " love my family more " may look abstract, yet you can have a checklist to include " call them once a week" or " spend a weekend with them" to evaluate our effort in bringing closer the relationships.

In short, to challenge ourselves, we must always have plans whereby our progress could be evaluated and reviewed specifically. If we make great plans which are not benchmarked against measurable goals, we would fail to achieve for sure.

Be organised

It's important to be organised and work with plans in everything we do. A person who is well organised normally can be more assured of expected results and meeting all his deadlines.

We plan ahead so that we would not miss out anything that we are supposed to accomplish, big or small. With overall picture lay out in in front of us, we could plan in such a way that we handle our tasks according to priority. We could spread out some of our work over reasonable period, a day, a week or even a month depending on the deadlines. 

Besides, as we plan we could group together activities to be carried out at the same time or around the same place so that we can cut down the number of trips to make, saving time and effort.

Good planning, in short helps us to be more efficient in carrying out our tasks.  If we are disciplined to follow our plans closely, completing our tasks and meeting deadlines would no longer be a dreadful thing to us.

People who plan and organise their work beforehand are in control of the situation they're in. Therefore they seldom make obvious mistakes, like forget to pay bills... . They look relax but accomplish much more than those unorganised people who "appear" to be busy and "seem to be" doing a lot of work all the time.

If you are one who has no habit to plan beforehand, your would tend to tackle issues that happen to crop out first and then go on settling issues after issues haphazardly. Without an overall picture of what's priority, you may overlook something which is of utmost urgency and spend your time on issues that could actually be settled on a later date. 

If you one who never plan your trips, you end up tired, exhausted, going around the same place every alternate day. Wasting time, effort and money (petrol is not cheap) obviously.

So it's time to sit down and organise yourself. You will be surprised to see the results. You will find yourself suddenly have much more extra time than before to relax!

Big Road bully

We have heard a lot about road bullies. They are ruthless as reported in papers.  They "enjoy" bullying vehicles and drivers which come into their way or are anywhere close to them. Taking laws into their own hands, there is no rules and orders in their eyes. Just too bad if you were to bump into one, not only vehicle may be damaged, people may get hurt too!

One night, I told my husband we need to shop for some groceries. Without hesitation, he drove me to a shopping centre which we had not been to for quite some time. As usual we took the short cut, going through a small lane just beside the building to go to the car park. So happened the street lamp was out that night and it was pitch dark around the small lane. But my husband had no problem turning his car into that familiar lane.

About three quarter way through the small lane, a big lorry was seen coming in from the opposite direction. The driver was driving slowly towards us and he horned impatiently signalling us to reverse. We ignored and moved forward. Getting closer and closer, the lorry driver braked abruptly just right in front of our car and  blocked our way. Face to face through the windscreens, I could not see the driver's expression, just some dark shadows. But I could feel his anger from the way he horned.

"Move back , ..." I urged my husband to retreat as I felt lorry drivers normally were rough and fierce. What if they were to come down and break our window glass? Car doors were locked though.

"Don't give in easily to the road bullies! This is a busy area and they won't dare to do anything. Sit still.... , don't worry...". Taking no heed to what I say, my husband acted like a "HERO"(may be just pretended to be, hahaha ...)!

The lorry driver was really annoyed and showed some hand signs. It was quite dark and we didn't bother what he was trying to say or point out. Seeing no action on our part, he continued sounding his horn incessantly and furiously flashed the high-beam lights at us. Our poor car was much lower than the lorry. So the two strong beams of light shone directly into our eyes!

" Wah, very glaring, how now? Better reverse ...., it's hurting my eyes ....." I was scared and worried that they might come down and attack us eventually.

" Just take out the sunglasses and wear ....." Again, my stubborn husband had no intention to reverse the car.

Both of us put on our sunglasses, crossed our hands over in front of our chests, sitting upright and stared at them through our dark lenses, showing our strong "FEAR NOT" spirit.

Minutes later, the lorry reversed out from the lane. It was unbelievable that we could triumph over the much talked-about road bullies.

I went home and told my children excitedly about the road bully story. I even "proudly advised" them don't ever give in easily to the hooligans.

The next morning I drove to work and passed by the small lane where the incident had happened the previous night. Still "feeling proud", I couldn't help turning my head to take a look at the lane again. Oh my God, there was a new traffic sign at the entrance we took. And we didn't notice it in the dark the very night the incident happened!

The traffic sign must have been put up quite recently without our knowledge. I could feel my face turned warm and red!

I am ashamed to disclose to you the sign reads :  "NO ENTRY"!

Convictions

Each and everyone of us has gone through different path in life and has been exposed to different school of thoughts. Thus we acquired varied sets of belief and principles. Whatever it may be, as long as they are good teachings, we would be able to live a well-guided life, provided we have "strong convictions" in abiding to the belief and principles.

"Conviction?" Is it the same as belief?

"Conviction" is more than a belief. It's a belief that you are "fully" and "strongly" convinced of in heart. With strong conviction, we would have the strength within us to withstand the influence of all outside factors such that we would not be changed or moved easily by circumstances to affect our belief or what we are doing.

If there's no strong convictions in heart, what we are doing most probably would be just following the crowd or fad. We would tend to withdraw once confronted by uncertainties or difficulties as there's no driving force to provide us the strength to strive on.

We have come across people who are devoted and carrying out their task full-heartedly. They do not bother about other people's comments or the troubles involved. Their steadfastness comes from their strong convictions in what they are doing. With strong convictions in heart, they normally excel and succeed in their endeavours.

All the successful figures in the world we witness have one common virtue, i.e an extraordinary strong conviction they possess in the field they have pursued and succeeded in. Without this strong conviction , they will definitely not be able to withstand great pressures encountered.

So to be successful, in whatever pursuit, you must have a strong conviction in it first before doing. Then you will not give up easily. Take a look at those tasks you have tried on and given up. Absence of strong conviction was the answer, right? If it has been done with strong conviction, nobody can force you out of it. You can even die for it!

Where do I come from

"Where do I come from?" at very tender age before going to school, kids often ask their parents. I wonder what answers do you give to your children?

My grandmother told me that I was being picked up from the rubbish dump near the market and I was fooled  to believe.

When my daughter, Lynn asked me the same question when she was about five, I told her that an Indian lady gave her to me.

"What am I so fair then?" She was the fairest among all my kids and definitely she wondered how could it be.

"I made fair your skin by soaking and washing, hahaha ." It was quite interesting to fool her as I was fooled before.

"Do I have to go back to her? Please let me stay with you until I am fifteen, is it okay?" She pleaded with me ..........

Oh, my poor kid! I felt really bad to have joked on her to that extend. She has grown up now, but always remembers this incident and complaints that we were too much to play such trick on our own kids.

Once, my third brother was back for holidays with his family from Australia. He brought his three years' old son to a wet market which looked dirty and disorderly as compared to the clean supermarkets in Australia. My nephew refused to go inside the market. He was complaining until a little boy, about his age sitting quietly by the side of the vegetables caught his eyes.

" Is he for sale with the vegetables?" he asked the father curiously.

"Yes, that's how we got you, also from a stall in this type of market." The father was pulling his leg.

"No, I don't believe you!" he said angrily to the father.

"Good. You smart boy, I didn't know you are so smart and not easily fooled!"

"Of course, I can't be bought from such a dirty place. You bought me from the supermarket in Australia, right?"

"TENTEEN"

My eldest son HK was an inquisitive child. As a child he loved reading. And after reading any book, he would ask a lot of questions to clear his doubts. To be honest, there were so many unexpected questions from this unique child that (very ashame to say) I couldn't provide him satisfactory answers sometimes.

At very young age, he had good ability to make deductions e.g. he told me that "Klim" (a milk power brand) was derived from the word "milk". He said letters in "milk" was spelt in reverse order and it became "KLIM". It was amazing deduction for a four-year old kid. Very "logical" indeed. Of course fact may not be though.

He was quick to learn when I taught him to count from one to ten. As I continued to teach him ... eleven, twelve and thirteen... . He listened and repeated every word after me happily(he enjoyed learning new things very much). As I continued with fourteen, fifteen, sixteen.......,  he suddenly interrupted me..........

" I know already...., seventeen, eighteen, nineteen and 'TENTEEN'."

Haha .... "TENTEEN"! Oh Dear, I couldn't help laughing! 

He had just "invented" a new number. It was so unbelievable! I was a bit shocked actually. Just can't imagine how he had applied his "deduction ability" here??

Of course he didn't know that any deduction in sequence had to end somewhere and just too bad, he overshot.

I always remember this word "TENTEEN" though it doesn't exist.

Give me a ring

My son who pursues his studies in Singapore has very tight schedules everyday. He gives tuition to a few students besides attending lectures. Normally I will not call him during the day as he would not be available. Calls are made usually after 10.30pm as he may be in the library or giving tuitions to some students in early part of the night.

He is a mature and independent young man. He can (and prefers to) handle most of the things himself. As such I do not worry much about him to the extend of calling him everyday like most mothers do. In fact, I am a very careless mother; sometimes even I have the intention to call him, I just drop off to sleep on the couch after watching some boring TV shows.

As trunk calls are expensive, I ask him not to make calls to me directly since he has very tight budget. Instead whenever he wants to talk to me, a SMS is sent first so that I can call him back. It is also cheaper this way.

That night, as usual we were watching some TV dramas and not expecting anything exciting to happen. Then out of a sudden, the father's handphone sounded. Hearing the message alert tone, he picked up the handphone to read .... and his first reaction was -  shocked and overjoyed ......

"Our son got girl-friend already! Wah, so fast want to give a ring! Eh, got any nice ring to spare or not? Quick, quick, go and get a ring and send him tomorrow !"

"What are you talking about?" I was completely lost, half asleep on the couch...

"Read... Read... Read the message yourself........" His tone was full of excitement.

He handed me the handphone hurriedly and rushed me to read......

Through my bifocal lenses, I saw the message on the handphone screen :

"Mama, give me a ring "

"Telepathic" experience

Don't be mistaken by the post title that I am one who possess extrasensory perception (ESP). I am as ordinary as anyone. But there was an unforgettable encounter in my life, so strange and so unbelievable that other than "telepathic", I find no explaination for it.

Could it be "sixth sense"or just "some imaginary feelings"? No, definitely not! Well, it's more like "thought transference" over "(? ) dimensions"....

It happened thirty over years ago when I was in my final year doing my final examination. My husband was then working in a company three hundred Km away. At that time, his company was handling a lift project in my campus and he had to come and attend site meeting from time to time. When I knew he had a site meeting scheduled on the same day as my last paper, I was very very happy ....! We could make plan to meet up in the campus and return home together after his meeting and my last paper. It's so wonderful!

Handphones were not in existence and we had this arrangement done via snail mail.

Everything seemed fine. However, just one week before my last paper, there was some last minute changes in our examination time table. My last paper was brought forward by five days. It was good news on one hand, being able to return home earlier after the exhausting final examination . On the other hand, what about my prior arrangement with my husband? How to inform him of the changes?

You won't believe I didn't even have his contact number as that was his new job and I didn't bother to ask for it. Snail mail would take too long to do the job. I was at at lost how to settle the problem.

What a coincidence (really hard to believe) over at my husband's company, he also received a notice from his company that his site meeting at my campus was brought forward by five days(strange??). He faced the same problem - how to cancel the earlier arrangement? How to let me know that he wouldn't be coming on the day of my last paper (not knowing my time-table was changed too)? He was equally frustrated.

In the last resort, he took out the telephone directory and from the long list of the university's telephone numbers, he simply picked a number  and dialled. He was hoping a kind soul would pick up the phone and help him to pass the message to me. He told me later that he did it out of despair and didn't dare to hope for any miracle....

Three hundred Km away, I was on my way back to hostel from the library. Tired and hungry, I was about to stop at a canteen nearby for a meal. Just then the phone outside the canteen rang. Since I was the one nearest to it, I had no choice but to pick up the phone "reluctantly". ( The consequence of picking up the phone was you were responsible of delivering a message to someone who might be at another corner of the campus.)

"hello ..... " I was stunned! I couldn't believe what I heard through the handset....

It was that exact moment, that exact location, without a second dial, the FIRST CALL my husband made REACHED me! We were both shocked - couldn't believe the miracle! It must be "telepathy" for us to "reach" each other "this way"! And it was even more shocking to learn that both the events were also being brought forward to the same day to enable us to go back together!

How do you explain this? Isn't it an unbelievable "telepathic" experience?

*This is a true story, not a story from "The Twilight Zone".....

To be a King

My eldest boy was an avid reader. At four, he had already read a lot of story books. He loved those stories with happy endings where the prince married the princess and they lived happily ever after.

His imagination was good and he could figure out how nice it was to be a prince, and then a King, to the extend that he felt very sad one day.

"Papa is not a King , so I can't be a King later to live happily ever after........" he was sad and he almost cried...

"We could be happy being anybody, not necessarily a King. Not anybody in the world could be a King. So just be ourselves and be happy whoever you are. " I consoled him, not knowing he understood or not at that age.... 

As time went by, he forgot about this question and never asked about it again.

When my youngest boy was about six, he also read some of these books that his elder brother had read before. I recalled the incident. I was curious what would be his thoughts then? So I asked him the same question.

" Do you ever think of being a King ?"

"That's the last thing I want to be because 'they always got killed'. It's terrible to be a King!" He said.

What had prompted him to have such thought which differed so much from that of his brother?

The interesting explanation would make you laugh! It was because the younger boy had been watching some Chinese dramas on TV with me and these drama stories were mostly on the power struggle in the palace where in most cases, the emperor was finally assassinated.

Clearly, the development of a child's perception is greatly influenced by his exposures.

In short, the perception of a child and the fundamentals on which they build their thoughts on are greatly influenced by the kind of exposures provided and examples set by the parents. This is something that we being parents often overlook and fail in leading by example.