On the contrary, my late father was much more a jovial person. No matter how big the problem was, he could still go into deep sleep within minutes. "Why worry now? Just have a good sleep. Think about it tomorrow. " He used to tell my mother this way. However, my mother would be tossing and turning in bed, the whole night through.
I always wish I could be like my father who had an "on/off" switch to his worries.
For mum, "worrying" has more or less become her "full-time job". Taking everyone's problem as her problem, she worries for all her children and their families. Many a time, she says it's impossible for her to stop worrying. We are not that "bad", but not too far off either.
What actually are we worrying about ? A good question! And the answer is simple : there is no limit to our worries: that of ourselves, our family, our siblings, our children, our jobs......... . Anything in the future, anything in the past, anything under the sun ......
How silly, you may say. But is there a way to get all these worries out of our mind?
The problem is we are so used to live with worries as such we are compelled to believe that nothing could or should be done to this" instinct" of ours. We even mistakenly equate people who "don't worry much" with people who "don't think much". So it seems natural for "thinkers" to worry more than those "simple-minded" people. No attempt is thus considered necessary for reducing worries since it looks like "to worry" is more a "privilege" than "setback" for the self-proclaimed "thinkers". Nevertheless, to live on this way would take a heavy toll on one's happiness which I have eventually realized.
"Stop worrying! Be happy! " Everybody knows how to say this. It sounds simple; but our experiences tell us that by just asking ourselves to stop worrying would not work at all. So don't waste time forcing yourself to do so or you would feel even more anxious!
In a particular case, we should examine and ask ourselves if we can do anything to help the situation that we are worrying about? If we can't, tell ourselves what we can do at most, right now, is to hope for the best and it's of no use worrying. Yes, I am not joking. Hope for the best instead.
If the worry involves anything in the past, tell ourselves it's no point crying over spilled milk. We should just forget about it. Yes, the action is stop dwelling in the past.
The psychology here is after we "have done something to it", we have got ourselves an "answer "to it. So it's considered "settled" within our limit. Though the outcome may be beyond our control, it helps to get the worry out of our mind. Yes, just as simple as that.
In a particular case, we should examine and ask ourselves if we can do anything to help the situation that we are worrying about? If we can't, tell ourselves what we can do at most, right now, is to hope for the best and it's of no use worrying. Yes, I am not joking. Hope for the best instead.
If the worry involves anything in the past, tell ourselves it's no point crying over spilled milk. We should just forget about it. Yes, the action is stop dwelling in the past.
The psychology here is after we "have done something to it", we have got ourselves an "answer "to it. So it's considered "settled" within our limit. Though the outcome may be beyond our control, it helps to get the worry out of our mind. Yes, just as simple as that.
Don't yell at me at this point and say "Nonsense!". Anyway, I am not worried. I hope for the best!
It seems according to findings of psychologists : 40% of our worries actually never happen; 30% are of what had happened in the past; 12% are unfounded worries on our health; 10% are on trivial issues and merely 8% of our worries are"really" worries. That means we spend 90% of our times worrying unnecessarily!
We can and should get ourselves out of this 90% of our worries in order to be happy.
The choice is yours and I am going to be the first in my family to free myself from being one of the worrying-type of people!
